Talking to the moon

It's 10 PM, and I'm sitting on terrace, talking to the moon. My relationship with the moon is really strong. I always talk to the moon whenever I miss Siri (Siran Loryana).

Yes, Siri. My friend from Algeria. She is the best girl I've ever met. Truly the best. We met on Instagram in 2020 when I was at the lowest point of my life.

She took care of me like the closest person in my life, without expecting anything in return. She was the only girl who could tell how I was feeling and what I was going through just from my texts, without me saying anything. She always knew how to comfort me.

She was the only girl I could cry in front of. I'd never cried in front of anyone before, not even my parents. But I don't know why—I would automatically cry in front of her. And the way she comforted me... she could change my mood within seconds and make me smile again.

And you know, whenever she asked me what I wanted to eat, no matter what I told her, she would cook it for me and send me a photo of the dish.

Now it's 2024, and we've been talking for the last four years.

In 2024, my mom was suffering from kidney problems and was hospitalized for about one and a half months. The doctors performed kidney surgery six times, and every surgery was unsuccessful. Finally, they said they would try one last time, and that it depended on God whether it worked or not. They performed the seventh surgery, and thank God, it was successful. A week after my mom was hospitalized, my dad was also admitted to the hospital because of low platelets.

While my aunt (Bua Ji) and uncle (Fufa Ji) were bringing my father to the hospital in the car, my father was crying. He kept saying, "I don't have any money left." But my aunt took care of everything. She said, "Don't worry about the money. I'll take care of it."

At home, it was just me, my brother, and my cousin sister (my aunt's daughter). She used to take care of both of us. But after a week, I had to go back to my college hostel. My aunt told me, "You go to college. Don't worry about them. We'll take care of everything." She even paid my six-month college fees. But every night in the hostel, I used to cry because of my parents' condition.

During that time, Siri took care of me. On video calls, she would start crying with me whenever I cried. But somehow, she always made me feel better and made sure I never stayed sad for long.

Yes, I miss her. A lot. A lot. A lot. But you will say if you miss her why dont you talk to her again?

In 2021, I found out that she was suffering from lung cancer. Yes, lung cancer. When I heard that, I was completely shocked. She told me she had been living with it since childhood and that there wasn't any treatment for it.

The doctors said that surgery was extremely risky and that she might not survive it. That's why her parents decided not to go ahead with the operation.

She continued taking care of me despite carrying the biggest burden herself. Whenever we talked on video calls and she spoke about her condition, she would cry so much.

It was the morning of October 8, 2024. I was in college, walking to my first class of the day. Suddenly, I got a text from Siri.

I fainted and Im not able to breathe properly. My parents taking me to hospital. Gaurav, please take care of yourself when I'm not around. Your Siri.

I saw her message during lunch. She always used to text me between 11 PM and 12 AM. But that night, I didn't receive any message. I was scared. I texted her, but there was no reply. I became even more scared, and my heart was racing the entire night.

After two days, I finally got a reply. It wasn't from Siri. It was her cousin.

She told me that Siran was no more.

It was 1 AM, and I was in my hostel. I cried like crazy for three days. At the same time, both of my parents were still in the hospital.

I didn't know how to react. I just kept crying. She was the only girl I cried for.

She loved talking to the moon, just like I do. She would also sit on her terrace at night and talk to the moon. And now, whenever I look at the moon, it reminds me of her.

Sometimes, I feel like I can still see her face in it.

I wish I could spend more time with her.

I miss you so much Siri.

You will always be remebered.

It was the most beautiful and most painful part of my life.

I don't want to share her photo, but here's one of the dishes she made for me — Spaghetti.